


The Chemistry Between Us

by burkesl17



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drink Spiking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9503051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burkesl17/pseuds/burkesl17
Summary: After the European Championships Victor's drink gets spiked in a bar. It's a painful night for Katsuki Yuri and Chris, and painful few weeks as they wait to find out if there are any consequences.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you as ever to Mikimoo for a great beta and enabling my love of Victor angst!
> 
> Inspired by the fact that athletes are banned from illegal drugs as well as performance enhancing ones. 
> 
> No actual non-con or rape occurs in this story beyond some mild touching.
> 
> Edited about half an hour after posting to add in the notes, my knowledge of doping controls in professional sport is very slight, so please excuse any massive inaccuracies in the story.

Victor felt like his lungs were going to explode as he finished his free skate, he was pulling in lungfuls of air, his knee was shaking and his legs burned with lactic acid. He held the final pose as the crowd screamed but he could hardly manage a smile as he raised his head.

Had competing ever hurt this much before? But the performance hadn't been good enough to collapse in tears on the ice, there was nothing to do but push onwards to where Yakov was watching him with folded arms.

He almost fell on Yakov as he stumbled off the rink, wishing Yuri was here so he could hug him close and tight. But he was in an airport far away, delayed by the horrific weather that had swept over the continent in time for the European Championships.

Yakov caught him and helped him stumble over to the kiss and cry. He kept a smile fixed on his face as they made their way through the crowd, every step sending jarring pain up his leg through his bad knee and hip.

“This is why you can't just take eight months off and expect to come straight back,” Yakov said, as they slumped down and Victor waved for the cameras.

“I’ll still medal,” Victor grinned, although he wasn’t completely confident he would. He hadn’t been able to raise his arm on a jump once and some of his footwork must have looked a mess. 

He didn’t show his surprise when the scores came up, but they were better than he expected and he was indeed going to medal, definitely silver and possibly gold depending on how Otabek did now.

“What was that step sequence, old man?” Yurio appeared behind him, hunched up in his hoody and looking furious. He had a right to, as he’d had - at least for him, a bad weekend and was probably going to come in third. Victor had tried pointing out that it was still an incredible result for someone his age, but apparently it hadn't helped.

He grinned as texts from Yuri came through, “Yuri thinks it was great.”

“Katsudon would think it was great if you dropped your trousers and did a shit on the ice.”

Victor burst out laughing and leered, “Aren’t you going to watch Otabek?”

Yurio swore at him, flushing slightly and stomped off towards the side of the rink.

“Don’t tease him too much tonight, Vitya. He’s going to be in a bad enough mood anyway.”

“Oh but they’re cute.”

That got him another unimpressed glare, which Victor ignored as another message from Yuri came through. He excitedly grabbed Yakov’s sleeve as they shuffled after Yurio.

“Yuri’s flight is finally taking off, he’ll be here tonight!”

“Good, he’ll keep you out of trouble."

“You know, I’m starting to think you like him more than you like me.”

"I do.”

“Yakov!”

Otabek did very well, and Victor ended up clutching a silver medal. He was actually surprised by how disappointed he was. He glanced across the podium at Yurio, who seemed torn between being happy for his friend and stricken by his failure. He should probably find some way of making up for saying how well he was doing for his age earlier. It was true of him too and it _really didn’t help._

Chris found him as he was getting changed to go back to the hotel. 

“You like shit for a silver medalist.”

Victor looked at himself in the mirror and sighed, “We all suffer for art.”

“Oh God, keep that up and you’ll sound like Georgi.”

Chris walked up to him and threw his arm lightly round Victor’s shoulder. “Your boy’s flight take off?”

“Yes, but by the time he lands and gets through customs, he won’t actually get to the hotel until midnight."

He couldn’t help but pout, he hadn't seen Yuri for over a week and he missed him terribly. His absence felt like the old injuries he carried around with him now, a permanent slight ache, that there’s nothing to do but skate through.

“Come out with me then?”

Victor gave Chris a sceptical look. “I have to skate in the exhibition tomorrow.”

“You don't have to drink much. But if you stay in the hotel you're just going to annoy Yurio and Otabek, and Otabek just won a gold medal and deserves a little fun.”

“I was just planning to watch Netflix,” Victor said honestly, feeling tired.

“Then you’ll be asleep by ten and will miss Yuri getting in. Come out with me, console me for coming fourth, we’ll have a few drinks and I’ll get you home in time for Yuri arriving.”

It was tempting and he grinned at Chris as he said, “Okay.”

A few people recognised them when they reached the bar, and they got a booth in the VIP section. The music wasn't really to Victor’s taste, but he chatted to Chris and tried not to just talk about Yuri.

One shot of vodka down and someone who knew Chris, or his choreographer or something, Victor, didn't really bother to follow the connection, came over with his friends. He shook their hands and smiled poster bright for selfies, which became easier after another shot of vodka.

“Three’s my limit," he lent over and told Chris.

“No Champagne?” One of the men asked, Karl, possibly.

He tilted the bottle towards Victor, who sighed, tempted, before saying, “I’m still not at competition weight.” He brightened up as he added, “And my fiancé will be here in three hours.”

The last bit might have got lost in the noise, as Karl shifted closer with dark, wide eyes and said, “You are far too gorgeous to be worrying about your weight.”

Victor smiled back, and said archly, “Athletes aren’t normal. We’re strange, strange people.”

He picked up his water glass and titled it so his ring caught the light. Karl glanced at it, slid closer and asked, “Are you exclusive?”

Even though he was trying to let the guy down somewhat gently, Victor couldn’t help smiling proudly as he said, “Yes!”

Karl's smile was slightly frozen as he replied, “Lucky guy.”

It was fun as Victor relaxed and forced himself to stop checking his phone every five minutes, because Yuri was in the air and couldn’t message him, so it was pointless. He still sent Yuri messages though, unable to resist and thinking of Yuri getting them all when he turned on his phone at the end of the flight.

“More drinks?” Karl asked standing up suddenly. Victor asked for one more shot and a sparkling water, Chris offered to help carry them, but Karl shook his head and disappeared into the crowd.

Victor sighed as he tipped his head back against Chris’. “Two and a half hours until he’s here.”

“Victor, you’re pathetic.”

“I know.”

He cheerfully toasted Karl and then other people in the group before downing the vodka and following up with sparkling water, it was bitter with too much lime in it, but the room was so hot he drunk it all anyway.

The lights in the room were pretty and bright, covering everyone in their colours. He was so happy too, and the energy thrumming in his veins made sitting still hard.

He threw his arm round Karl and laughed, “I won silver today!”

"I saw, you were incredible.”

“I was lucky really, but don’t tell anyone that.”

Fingers were trailing up the nape of his neck in little shivery, silver trails. He knew he probably shouldn’t but he leant into them, they felt so wonderful.

Chris was giving him an odd look and Victor jerked towards him, cupping his face and smiling, “I wish you’d got a medal today, Christophe.”

"Well I wish that too.”

Victor smiled and stroked Chris’ face, finger tips catching on the start of his stubble.

“Victor, are you okay?"

Okay wasn't a big enough word for how he felt right then. He felt wonderful, joyful, shimmering like sun on ice, like Yuri’s eyes when they’d travelled out of the city to see the Northern lights.

He tried to tell Chris this, but his words were all caught up in his mouth and he tilted his head back to laugh.

“How much have you had to drink?"

“Just three shots! Yuri is coming, so I can’t drink too much. Coming in many ways hopefully.”

He laughed again, and shrugged off Chris, hopelessly aroused and also suddenly thirsty. He pushed out of the booth and drifted towards the bar, soaking all the lights that were colouring in his skin and swaying to the music that was inside his body and all around him.

He gulped down some water, which tasted less limey and grinned at the people dancing. He had to be there too, among them all and had to keep moving.

Time slid, became nothing but songs and beat and light and he gasped in pleasure as someone grabbed his hips and pulled him against them. He tilted his head back to get more contact, and the world came back to him slightly, a bit wobbly now.

“Why don’t you come back to mine?”

He couldn’t remember the man’s name, Karl, Clive, something, but it was also sliding away from him, and fingers dug tighter into his hips.

“We could have a party.”

“A party?” Victor answered. He had somewhere to be he thought.

“Ummm…” The man turned him and lips brushed just under his ear. “A brilliant party.”

The lights weren’t as pretty now, they were trailing, moving past him and he couldn’t follow them.

“Victor!” Someone, Chris, it was Chris, grabbed his arm, and it was solid point amongst everything else moving.

“Karl wants us to go to a party.” Karl, was frowning now and Victor didn’t know why, or why Chris gave him a vicious glare and pulled Victor towards him.

“You left your phone on the table. Yuri’s landed, you need to go back to the hotel.”

Yuri! Victor took a few wobbly steps towards the door and Chris wrapped an arm round him.

“I don’t feel well,” he managed. He could feel his heart racing now, and everything was slightly wrong, slightly spinny.

“It’s okay, we’re going home.” Chris’ voice was balmy, comfort amongst the bouncing music.

Outside the air was so cold it felt like it was biting his face with little teeth, but it was refreshing too, and rubbing his eyes helped rub away some of the dizziness.

Chris was saying something about an Uber, and Victor blinked at him trying to follow and gave up, sighing happily as Chris took his hand.

“Victor, I’m not going to judge, but did you take anything?”

He blinked, confused. “After the skate? I don't take painkillers unless it’s really painful.”

“No, tonight. In the bar?”

He was very drunk he supposed, and then he realised what Chris was saying and shook his head. “No, no, that’s banned.”

He hugged Chris hard and slapped his back. “And you shouldn’t either! I heard about that party on the tour last Summer!”

The taxi got there and the drive was strange. He got lost in the light of each street light as it swept over him and then snapped away into darkness before the next one took him over. It could have been ten minutes or an hour, before Chris was prodding him out of the door.

Victor tried to pay, but the cold air on his hot skin, was blissful. He shouldn’t be so hot, it was snowing. Big, wet, flakes of snow were whirling around him and he spun in them, liking how they felt as they landed on his face.

“Victor!” Chris again, looking at him so strangely.

“What’s wrong?”

Chris took a deep breath and said, “There are reporters in the lobby, you need to act sober. We need to walk them past them and it’s very important they don’t spot you, do you understand?”

He nodded, not minding being told what to do.

“Good, come on.”

He concentrated very hard on putting one foot in front of the other. Clip, clop, not the elegance of skating, like a horse perhaps, clip, clop, clip, clop.

The lift made him feel dizzy, and he had to shut his eyes, tiredness starting to seep over him and then Chris was rummaging in his trousers, which made him laugh and tell him they couldn't do that any more because of Yuri, but it was just for his key.

And then the door opened and Yuri was standing there, just in a hoody and pyjama bottoms and he was the most beautiful thing Victor had ever seen and there was nothing to do but kiss him.

Yuri

Yuri was exhausted after hours and hours of messed-up travelling, and even if he knew logically there was no point Victor sitting around for hours waiting for him, he had been quite peeved when he reached an empty hotel room, and the only message he'd had since he landed had been from Chris telling him they were on their way back.

As always though it was remarkably hard to stay peeved when Victor actually appeared, especially when he ran across the room and kissed him over and over again, and stroked his neck and slid a hand up under his hoody, hot on his skin.

He pulled back, he was going to say something, something really compelling, and Victor sagged against him. In the moment of confusion when Yuri suddenly realised he was taking most of Victor’s weight they staggered and nearly fell.

“Thirsty,” Victor murmured and pulled back, it sounded like he was concentrating very hard on getting the words right. “Very thirsty.”

“How drunk are you?” Yuri snapped, the irritation coming back. Victor’s face was flushed, his pupils were huge and his skin felt feverishly hot.

“Victor, go in the bathroom and get ready for bed. Leave the door open.”

Chris, who was leaning against the door to the room, he looked worried, and Yuri was shocked when Victor did just as Chris said. Humming to himself, he swayed his way to the bathroom.

“What’s going on?” Yuri snapped and Chris sighed and collapsed on the bed.

“I think someone spiked his drink.”

“What?”

“I don’t know with what, something that makes you happy and suggestible though.”

“No…I mean…” Yuri tried to get his thoughts in order. “Are you sure?”

“He didn't drink much, and I’ve been to a plenty of parties where those sort of drugs are around.”

Yuri gaped at him, feeling very young and innocent again.

“You have?” 

Chris grinned at him and then sighed. “I might not do the chem, but I do enjoy the sex.”

At that point, as Yuri was trying to think of something sensible to say, and not to look completely naive, Victor came out of the bathroom completely naked and collapsed on the bed next to Chris.

“I don’t feel well.”

Whilst Yuri gaped in shock, just too tired to get his head around Victor being drugged and naked, very naked, in bed next to someone who wasn’t him, Chris frowned and touched his forehead. “You’re burning up.”

“Feel sick.”

Chris pointed at the bin across the room, “You might want to grab that.”

Yuri did so and then perched on the edge of the bed and gently stroked Victor’s hair. Chris took his pulse and then said, “It’s pretty fast. I’m going to call my boyfriend, he has a bit more first hand experience of this than I do.”

As Chris disappeared into the bathroom, Yuri managed to cover Victor up with a sheet and Victor caught his hand kissed his palm.

“So glad you’re here.”

“Where else would I be?” Yuri managed to reply, brushing his hair out of face.

“Can you put some music on?” 

Yuri kissed him before replying and fiddling with his laptop, trying to find something soft. He’d just found a classical playlist Victor tended to listen to in the bath when he was exhausted, when Chris came back.

“Philippe thinks it was probably GBH, or something similar. He should be okay in the morning, but if we’re worried about how he’s acting we should stay up with him. You can OD on this stuff.”

Yuri sunk down next to Victor and touched his hot skin. Victor was humming softly along to the music now, his fingers tapping out a rhythm on the sheet.

“Should we take him to hospital?”

Chris glared at him. “And say what? Here’s one of the World’s greatest athletes, we’ve brought him in _because we think he's ingested a banned substance?”_

“Oh,” Yuri breathed out, looking back down at Victor and then the panic hit him. “It’s not worth his life!”

“Yuri, he’ll be fine. If it looks like he’s loosing consciousness or anything like that we can call an ambulance. But he’s almost certainly fine.”

The panic was still lodged in his throat and he spat out, “Did they do the drugs tests straight after they skated?” 

Chris started fiddling with kettle and emptying the little sachets of coffee into mugs.

“I think so, they normally do at Euros. They didn’t bother with me of course.”

There was a faint hint of bitterness in his voice, which Yuri didn’t know what to do with. Chris had his back to him and Yuri looked down at Victor, who was stroking the sheet, and still faintly humming.

“I thought your skate was excellent,” he finally blurted out as Chris put the coffee down on the bed side table.

“Of course it was, just not excellent enough.”

There was an awkward pause, and Chris took a sip of coffee, wincing at how hot it was.

“Are you going to stay?” Yuri asked.

“I think we should stay up with him, but you’ve been travelling all day and are probably jet lagged. We can keep each other awake.”

Yuri sighed, so tired now, but sipped his coffee and nodded. Together they rolled Victor over so if he was sick he’d just throw up over the side of the bed and then Chris shrugged and said, “Have you got a pack of cards?”

Several hours later, many rounds of snap, all the instant coffee the room had and Victor suddenly shifted to his knees, he’d gone chalk white. The two of them managed to get Victor to the bathroom before he threw up, and Yuri felt deeply, deeply worried as he held back Victor’s hair and stroked his hot skin. Afterwards they were sat against the head board whilst Victor drifted off to sleep between them.

He was snoring peacefully and Yuri could feel tiredness pulling his own eyelids, but he forced himself to keep them open. It was still dark outside and dawn was hours away. He looked back at Chris, who was scrolling miserably though Instagram and asked, “Why are you here?”

“I am his friend.”

Yuri tried to get his tired thoughts in order, it wasn’t what he’d really wanted to ask or what he wanted to know.

Chris carried on. “He made me the skater I am, you know. Without him in the sport I wouldn’t be nearly as good as I am.” He snorted, “Ironically, I’d probably have far more medals.”

“I was always trying to catch up with him,” Yuri replied. “He inspired me to skate competitively to begin with.”

Chris sighed and dropped his head back, not looking like he was listening. “And part of me will always be a little bit in love with him.”

Yuri didn’t answer, he wasn’t surprised, not really. And he wasn’t going to apologise either.

“You don’t need to worry,” Chris said dryly, “You’re all he thinks about, and it would never have worked between us anyway.”

Chris looked back at Victor and frowned down at him.

“There was never time before, neither of us wanted a relationship, or that was what I thought anyway. But I did sometimes think that maybe after we both retired, we’d have been able to make a go of it. But I was wrong. He loves you so much, it’s so…all encompassing. I could never love someone like that. Or be loved like that.”

He leaned back and smiled ruefully at Yuri. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t always love him a little bit.”

Yuri couldn’t understand really, why you’d want less of Victor when you could have all of him. Why when you could have all of that joyful energy and intense focus and incredible love directed at you, you’d want something that was just a pale part of that.

But he was tired and he hated talking about his emotions too much, so all he said was, “I don’t mind it. I…I like it.”

They were terrible words, and he was glad Victor was asleep and couldn’t hear them. Maybe if he’d been braver, or bolder, he'd have said, “I love how he loves me. I want all of him, every single part, I’m greedy for it.” But the words weren't really for Chris, so he just added, “Watch me skate.”

Chris snorted, “Oh I’ll be doing that.”

Yuri made himself pull away from Victor and paced round the room for a minute, trying to wake himself up.

He stared out of the window, the snow had stopped and in the distance a faint, orange line had appeared in the sky.

“How long do you think it will take for the drug to get out of his system?” He asked.

“Philippe said it should be gone within a few days. So as long as they don’t test him two days in a row, and I can’t imagine why they would, no one should ever find out.”

Yuri clenched his hand in the curtains. “Do you think someone did it so they could…so he’d let them…?”

“Yes.” Chris replied bluntly. “I think I know who too. And I’ll happily swear in front of whoever he needs me too that I didn’t see him take anything, that I don’t think he chose to do it.”

“They’ll let him off won’t they? As he didn’t chose to take it.” 

“If they believe him.”

Yuri had no answer to that, and slumped back on the bed. He pressed his face into Victor's shoulder and put his arm around him.

“If he did get a ban, it would be almost impossible for him to come back Chris. He doesn’t have enough time.”

“And what it would do to his reputation.”

Yuri tried to imagine it, the hoards of paparazzi, appeals, sponsors pulling out…It wouldn't just be Victor’s reputation now, they were engaged, it would be his too. Would anyone still want to work with them?

He closed his eyes, too sad and exhausted to work out whether his thoughts were reasonable or not.

“I'm sure it will be okay, Yuri. I think he’s fine now too, his pulse is back to normal and he's not as hot. Try and get some sleep.”

He nodded, not really thinking he possibly could sleep, but somehow he drifted off between one a breath and another.

Victor

It was the sunlight that woke him. He blinked at it and then the pain hit and he shut his eyes again. The horrible sick feeling in his stomach, the throbbing in his head. His mouth tasted like he'd been sick and it also felt sore and burnt.

What the fuck had happened? 

He opened one eye slowly, Yuri was fast asleep next to him, but lying on top of the covers and still dressed. And Chris he realised, Chris was also asleep on the bed, and also fully dressed. 

He barely remembered anything after getting to the bar and sitting down in the VIP section. He had fragmented memories of trails of light and dancing, but neither of those seemed very likely. His dodgy knee and hip hurt as much as the rest of him this morning.

What had he drunk? 

He needed water. He pushed himself up on one arm and then gave up, dropping back down.

The movement woke up Yuri though, who blinked at him and then his eyes went wide and he asked frantically, “Victor, how are you?”

“Terrible.” He managed to press his forehead against Yuri’s chest, who started stroking his head gently. “Can I have some water?” 

He kept his eyes shut until Yuri came back with a bottle from the mini-bar. It helped, slightly. He desperately wanted to brush his teeth, but he didn’t think he could move from the bed.

Another thought slowly lined up, he had to skate in the exhibition later. There was no way he could. 

He never, ever drank this much. And especially when he had to skate the next day.

He took another sip and said, “What happened? And why is Chris here?” 

Chris blinked at him and then said bluntly, “You were drugged.”

He listened in increasing horror to what they told him, but his head was slow and sluggish and he didn’t really completely grasp the implications until Chris said, “But it should be out of your system today or tomorrow, so no one should have to find out.”

He sat up slowly, feeling betrayed, sick and angry. And sunk back against Yuri as his arms wrapped around him.

“How could anyone do that?” But he was speaking for the sake of speaking. It didn’t matter really, why someone would be that terrible, when the bigger problem hung over them like a cloud.

He squeezed Yuri’s hand and then pushed himself to his feet. “I need to speak to Yakov.”

They both frowned at him and he shook his head at them angrily. “He deserves to hear it from me. If I’m going to fail a drug test, it’s his reputation too.”

“You aren’t going to fail a drugs test,” Chris snapped. “Why would they bother testing you twice in two days?”

“And it’s not performance enhancing,” Yuri said softly, placing his hand lightly on Victor’s back, “No one would think Yakov gave it to you.”

Victor shook his head, “I need a shower.” He looked over at Chris and said, “Thank you for staying.”

“I dragged you out.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” He made himself smile. “Go and get some more sleep,”

“I can stay until Yakov comes, I think I probably remember a lot more than you.”

“Thank you. Yuri, can you call him?” 

In the bathroom he brushed his teeth and tried to gargle, but the mouthwash burned. He opened his mouth and saw blisters and red patches.

He couldn’t even stand up in the shower and sunk down to sit at the bottom of the cubical, he tipped his head back as the water ran over his face. It should feel cleansing, but it couldn’t even begin to cleanse the anger away.

How dare someone do this? He knew why they’d done it of course, and there was anger about that too, that someone would try and take that, snatch it, but it hadn’t actually happened. The real boiling hot anger was because of what would happen if this ever was picked up in a test.

It probably wouldn’t be, and if it was they could explain, and if the explanation didn’t work they could appeal, but it was a collection of ifs, a collection of coulds, of maybes. 

And through all of it his reputation would be trashed, tarnished and swirling down the drain like dirty shower water.

Skating was a lonely sport. Out there, on the ice, he’d always been alone. The competition was in his head, against himself, the actions of others didn’t matter in that moment. 

His whole career he’d been responsible for his own successes and failures, and now someone had stolen that control away.

When Yakov arrived, he glared around the room, taking in the messy room and the three of them, before he glared at Victor and snapped, “What did you do?”

Victor mostly let Chris talk, squeezing Yuri’s fingers and trying not to feel ashamed, but the feeling was sunk hot and unpleasant inside him.

When Chris finished, Yakov patted his shoulder and thanked him brusquely. Yuri stood up, and Victor just let himself cling to his fingertips as Yuri spoke softly to Chris. There was a softness between them which hadn’t been there before and Victor wondered what they’d talked about that night.

He listlessly waved Chris off and then slotted his fingers between Yuri’s and let his forehead drop against Yuri’s stomach. Yuri lightly stroked his hair and Victor breathed him, trying to pull the strength he needed but wanting to speak to Yakov alone.

“Do you want me to go and buy you some tea or coffee?” Yuri said quietly.

Victor looked up at him gratefully and pulled him down to kiss him briefly and gently for a moment, shivering as Yuri’s fingers lightly trailed up and down the back of his neck.

“Thank you.” He whispered against Yuri’s lips. Yuri smiled at him and nodded in understanding before sliding out of he room.

Yakov was staring at him and shut his eyes as he breathed out Victor’s name. He sounded so old Victor realised, older than he’d ever heard him and he was suddenly desperate to not know whatever it was Yakov was about to say. Whatever it was would hurt.

“I’m not going to ask,” he blurted out.

“What?” Yakov stopped.

“I know…” he fumbled over the words and took a breath. “I know you could probably ask, or do something if this could come out, but I don’t want you to.” It was freeing to say it, to have made the decision and feel it in every part of himself.

“I’ve never cheated. I never will. And you never have either, we aren’t starting now.”

Yakov didn’t drop his eyes as he said flatly, “You know what it would do to your reputation.”

“I know.” Victor stood up. “But you told me once that my body and what goes in it was my responsibility, no exceptions and no excuses. This might not have been my fault, but it’s my choice how I deal with it. And I won’t tarnish your reputation. If you get pulled into a drugs scandal it will touch Yurio too, and Mila, Georgi. I won’t do it.”

There was a long pause, and then Yakov sagged against the wall. “When did you grow up, Vitya?”

Victor didn’t answer but walked over to Yakov and hugged him. Yakov slowly raised his arms to hug him back and the two stayed like that until Yuri came back with the tea.

A week passed, they were back in St Petersburg and Victor was trying to forget the whole thing had happened. The burns on the inside of his mouth were healing and as he trained to improve, to get ready for Worlds, he could picture the stuff coming out of him with every drop of sweat.

He was lost in the music of his routine, spinning into the final pose and forcing himself to hold it for a few seconds before slumping onto the ice in exhaustion. Yuri skated over to him and looked down with a frown. Victor rolled onto his back and looked up at him pitifully, “You don’t need to say anything, I know it was awful.”

Yuri held out his hand and Victor pulled himself up and hugged him tight before he could move away. He let his hands drift down to Yuri’s waist and murmured in his ear, “I think you should help me work on my flexibility tonight.”

“Do you?” Yuri asked, pulling back with a slight blush.

“Oh yes.” Victor ducked to kiss him when out of the corner of his eye he saw Yakov freeze.

He looked up to see a man in a plain black tracksuit and Russian baseball cap standing at the side of the rink. Ivan Zaytsev the man had been turning up to do out of competition drug testing for years. 

Yakov’s eyes flicked to him quickly and then walked over to Zaytsev. Most of the skaters had noticed him now and were heading for the side of the rink. Yurio scowled and dashed past them, swearing about the amount of time on the ice this was going to mean he lost today.

Yakov yelled out over the rink, “Georgi and Victor, it’s your turn.”

A week. Was a week long enough for him to be clean, for it to be out of his body and out of his blood? He couldn’t move to start with, and Yakov had to yell his name again. He wasn’t sure if his legs were strong enough to hold him up, and he didn't let go of Yuri’s hand as they skated over.

Zaytsev glared at Yuri, who took a started step backwards. Victor folded him arms and snapped, “Piss and blood or just piss today?”

“You know the drill, Zaytsev. Come on.” Victor grabbed a bottle of water and started gulping it. He'd pissed in front of so many drug testers over the years it didn’t bother him at all now, but this time the dread was thick in his chest, clogging his throat. He was too tense, and felt stupid holding his dick and trying to go. He was relieved too that Zaytsev was a generally unpleasant man who he didn’t need to pretend to be nice to.

Eventually he’d managed to give enough for a sample and had to lean against wall as Zaytsev packed everything up. 

Back in bed that night he clutched Yuri tight as Yuri fucked him. They pressed together tight as they could, Victor’s legs were over Yuri’s shoulders and they were so, so close. Victor cried out as the pleasure surged through him and the heat was almost more than he could stand. 

Afterwards, as Yuri slept against him, he’d like to be able to say it had blocked out everything, but as the hours of the night ticked towards the dawn, the knowledge that that wasn’t true at all lay heavy and suffocating on him. 

The weeks went by with no word from the drug testers, and with Worlds shooting towards them at incredible speed. Victor exhausted himself every day, trying desperately to reclaim his old flexibility, his old stamina and encouraging Yuri to reach heights he hadn’t before.

It felt like hardly any time had passed when he skated out to begin his free skate, in third behind Yuri and Yurio after the short programme.

If the test had been positive, if it was still being processed, still being checked and double checked then this might be the last time he skated with out the scandal hanging over his head, without the judgement of the crowd instead of their full throated support. 

And so he began. He gave it everything, everything he and Yuri had built together, everything he owed Yakov and the others who had given so much to him. Twist, turn, jump, stretch. Pain didn’t matter, he barely felt it, nothing mattered apart from this performance, this moment, this jump and this final spin in the dazzling lights of the rink.

When he finished, he turned to look at Yuri who looked stunned, his hands were clasped together and his mouth was open. Yurio was next to him, also looking amazed before he quickly remembered himself and crossed his arms with a frown. Yakov just nodded, but Victor knew that nod and he didn’t need the judges to know how well he had done. 

Everything caught up with him as he made it to Yuri who reached up and kissed him, trembling, and said, “That was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen you skate, Victor.”

It was the most beautiful anyone had seen him skate, it was a new world record and another gold medal. As he mounted the podium and stared out at the crowd, he thought it was possibly only Yuri and Yurio standing at either side of him who were keeping him from crying.

It was spring in Saint Petersburg now. The sun streaked pink across the sun and glinted on the dancing waves of the Neva. The season was over and Victor and Yuri were working on a couple of new exhibition pieces to do at ice shows in the summer. 

Yakov came and stood next to him at the side of the rink as he watched Yuri gracefully running through a possible step sequence. 

“I ran into an old friend the other day, he works in the doping unit.”

Victor’s hand tightened on his water bottle, knuckles going white, as he replied, “Oh?”

“Hmmm. Seems the test after the Euros was to catch you, people had been asking questions about how you were doing so well coming back at your age after such a long break. They were impressed when the extra test didn’t show anything up.”

For a moment Victor couldn’t speak, but then he breathed out, really exhaled for the first time since he woke up feeling like shit in that hotel room. 

“Thank you,” he whispered as the joy surged through him and he laughed out loud as he darted towards Yuri, calling out his name.

Yuri turned and looked at him curiously and Victor beamed as he took his hands and spun him round, sunlight soaking them both as Victor pulled him close and kissed him, happiness bright as gold shining in his eyes.


End file.
